The Bleeding Edge of Reality

Is THIS the “hope and change” you TOOLS voted for? All you LOSERS who couldn’t be bothered to get up off your fucking couch and get a job, or an education?

That the TRAITORS in Congress are COMPLICIT in this theft of American civil liberties and American treasure should tell ALL in the US and abroad that the shit is about to hit the fan.

Stimulus? Are you KIDDING? These ASSHATS on Capitol Hill can’t read!! They have their AIDS (to be read HIV+, just like the disease) do the “reading” (yeah, right), the deciding, and ultimately these self-important assholes defer to unknowns to GIVE them their opinion. On EVERYTHING.

And we all thought GWB was bad. This is infinitely worse, because now we have OH-BAAAAH-MA the Empty Suit, his gorilla-looking wife, and all the Neo-Lib sheeple scrambling over each other to get a glimpse of the half-white, half-black, self-proclaimed “African American Christian with a “funny” Muslim Name” running our nation into the GROUND.

News Flash, Assholes: ILLEGALLY-IMMIGRATED MEXICANS ARE NOT UNITED STATES CITIZENS. LOCK UP OUR FUCKING BORDERS NOW!!!

The shit is about to hit the fan. Our country can’t take any more of this madness. The plain sight THEFT, the government growing itself as if it were our only hope. THIS ISN’T HOW FREEDOM IS SPELLED, PEOPLE!! Don’t ANY of you CARE about our rights? Our forefathers SPILLED BLOOD and risked EVERYTHING to give us these GOD GIVEN FREEDOMS, and these lunatic, tofu-farting FUCKS are doing everything in their power to take it away, to ruin it, to bastardize THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND CULTURE.

We’re in SUCH deep trouble people, WAKE UP!! PLEASE!!! These filthy thieves are ALL PLAYING THE SAME GAME!! GWB, ODUMBO, PELOSI, REID, ARE ALL ON THE SAME FUCKING TEAM!! SNAP OUT OF IT AMERICA!! Put down your American Idol, put down your Oprah, put down your The View, and WAKE THE FUCK UP!! Do you all REALLY somehow relate to a bunch of spoiled RICH FUCKS in Hollywood? Do you think they care about YOU?!!? They don’t, and the sooner you figure it out, the sooner you can start looking at what’s REALLY happening out there, and it’s NOT GOOD.

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”
- Thomas Jefferson

Wake up America. Please.

Looking around at the world today, is it any wonder that the entire base of humanity HATES the United States?

This traitor is taking our country down the toilet, and it’s clear that he INTENDS to do so. This is calculated treason by a party of inbred, out of touch, spoiled retards.

It’s time for those who VOTED for this traitor, this treasonous, treacherous BASTARD and his gang of rich old thugs to be kehauled into public, ONE AT A TIME, and flogged about the head and neck with a copy of our Constitution…ONE ETCHED IN STONE.

God damnit, this entire country has been dumbed down to the point of dysfunction. It’s absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for this to be taking place, unless you take the 300 Million US ciitizens, extract those of us with a brain, and the REST of the 299+ Million continue to blindly roll along with the status quo.

Hitlery Clinton, Hussein Obama, and Juan McAmnesty. THESE ARE THE CHOICES WE HAVE?!?! Jesus tapdancing CHRIST!! Somewhere, at some branch of the Fed, the Bilderberg group are having an orgy and laughing at the demise of the US, laughing that globalism is just around the corner, and laughing that the AMERICAN PUBLIC has become SO GODDAMNED STUPID.

It makes me sick. Absolutely sick. What the hell happened to our Country?!? Our forefathers DIED AND STRUGGLED to grace us with this incredible GIFT of FREEDOM, and as a collective group of citizens, this country has allowed special interests, reverse racism, and corporate greed take us from freedom we need to FIGHT for, to a country that rewards illegal immigrants with social services and promises of amnesty, rewards corporate crooks for stuffing BILLIONS of lobby dollars in the pockets of those who are SUPPOSED to be REPRESENTING US, THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION.

Why won’t Congress REPRESENT THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE!!!?? Ask yourselves, WHY does Nancy Pelosi (treasonous criminal) insist “impeachment is off the table.”. Who the HELL says Nancy Pelosi determines, solely, WHAT IS ON AND OFF “THE TABLE”?! If the PEOPLE of this nation say it’s time to begin impeachment hearings on these TREASONOUS TRAITORS, then SO BE IT!!!!

We’re screwed. The government does NOT represent the PEOPLE of the United States. It hasn’t for at LEAST 30 years of the Bush/Clinton Monarchy, and unless something drastic happens, it’s only going to get worse.

If you’re smart, if you care about yourself and your family, you WILL begin preparing for the inevitable and make sure you’re ready to defend yourself, your family, your property, and your RIGHTS.

Well, I can honestly say that after watching some of these debates, and after watching the behavior of these “candidates” (i.e. the NWO shills and warmongerers who’ve been shoveled upon us like so much horseshit) that hope is all but gone for America. The 2 party system is so broken there is no fixing it. Hitlery Clinton campaigning with Bill, Bill sticking his nose in whereEVER he can get a bit of spotlight; “you’re unfarily treating my wife!!”, “you’re ganging up on my wife!!!”, “listen to my wife!!!”. YUCK!! We already HAD 8 years of the goddamned Clinton Monarchy here in the US, adding to the over 20 YEARS of Bush/Clinton MONARCHY that we’ve had here in the United States. LOOK AROUND PEOPLE!!!! 20+ YEARS of Bushs’ and Clintons’….WHAT DO WE HAVE?!? These assheads are R-I-C-H beyond belief, connected to the Bilderberg group, and DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU, DO NOT CARE ABOUT ME, DO NOT WANT YOU HERE!! Wake UP!!!!

The ONLY thing YOU can do RIGHT NOW is to cast a vote for Ron Paul, and cast a vote for SAVING OUR CONSTITUTION!! Jorge Dubajoo Boosh has put the pieces in place while systematically DESTROYING YOUR RIGHTS UNDER THE CONSTITUTION AND BILL OF RIGHTS!!!

Ever wonder why the ILLEGAL immigration issue is ON THE FRONT LINES for most Americans, yet the NWO shills in office, on Capitol Hill, in the White House, continue to simply IGNORE the will of the American People and do NOTHING about this invasion of our sovereign land?? Ever wonder why the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. act was made permanent? Ever wonder about those troublesome “executive orders” that Lil’ Jorge has run through the system with NO approval from Congress or the American People, and ALWAYS under cover of night??

Here’s a list of Executive Orders that L’il Jorge Boosh has abused his power to sign, ultimately giving him the powers of a DICTATOR whenever he declares a “state of emergency”:

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10990 allows the government to take over all modes of transportation and control of highways and seaports.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10995 allows the government to seize and control the communication media.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10997 allows the government to take over all electrical power, gas, petroleum, fuels and minerals.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10998 allows the government to take over all food resources and farms.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11000 allows the government to mobilize civilians into work brigades under government supervision.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11001 allows the government to take over all health, education and welfare functions.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11002 designates the Postmaster General to operate a national registration of all persons.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11003 allows the government to take over all airports and aircraft, including commercial aircraft.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11004 allows the Housing and Finance Authority to relocate communities, build new housing with public funds, designate areas to be abandoned, and establish new locations for
populations.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11005 allows the government to take over railroads, inland waterways and public storage facilities.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11051 specifies the responsibility of the Office of Emergency Planning (FEMA) and gives authorization to put all Executive Orders into effect in times of increased international tensions and economic or financial crisis.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11310 grants authority to the Department of Justice to enforce the plans set out in Executive Orders, to institute industrial support, to establish judicial and legislative liaison, to control all aliens, to operate penal and correctional institutions, and to advise and assist the President.

This all means that the government may, upon declaring a state of local or national crisis or increased tension, seize any of the above, private or otherwise, including manpower. Without any congressional oversite or recourse. A Presidential Executive Order, whether Constitutional or not, becomes law simply by its publication in the Federal Registry.

Get the picture yet? It should be getting more clear with each passing day.

PLEASE do your homework, check in with Alex Jones @ http://www,prisonplanet.tv and get clued in to some news. It’s a good place to start if you’re eyes are just now opening, but certainly not the “end all be all” of information.

PLEASE, for the sake of our freedom, our country, our sovereignity, WAKE UP, TAKE ACTION, VOTE FOR RON PAUL, and REJECT THE NEW WORLD ORDER!!!

Where do I even start?! Seriously, our country is in such peril, in such grave danger of all but disappearing that it’s almost impossible to believe. That notion is really why I believe the public appears to be so apathetic to it all (at least the LEGAL public, but that’s another blog item, coming soon). The level of people who appear to care, who want to do something about…hell, the miniscule amount of people who even BELIEVE it’s happening…the North American Union, the SPP, “free” trade agreements, the lack of border security, the “war” on “terror”…all of it is overwhelming, and that’s EXACTLY HOW THE GLOBALISTS WANT IT!! Divide and conquer. Keep the nation of free people warring with ITSELF, AMONGST ITSELF, and pay NO attention to the “man” behind the curtain.

Look folks, this shit has been going on for AGES. It is a calculated move to eliminate the middle class of Americans, to enslave people EN MASSE, so that it’s only Rich and Poor. That’s IT. There is NOTHING else to this issue. The stolen elections, the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. act, George Simeon Bush assigning himself DICTATORSHIP over the U.S., the lack of will to enforce our current laws regarding immigration. All a part of a bigger plan. Mainstream media is OWNED by these very same people…the RICH.

When you OWN:
- Mainstream Media
- Multi-billion dollar INTERNATIONAL corporations
- All political seats of power (show me ONE PERSON in the White House or Congress who isn’t rich and priveleged)

Then you OWN “reality”. You own it all. It’s simply now a matter of joining the U.S. with all your rich buddies in the EU, and you’re on your way to a One World Government, or the New World Order.

“Tinfoil conspiracist nonsense” you say? Really? With a straight face? I’ll bet YOU can tell me who’s won the American Idol since season 1. You can tell me what city The Real World will take place in next, or who won Survivor: China, but I’ll also bet you can’t point out Iran on a world map, or how many seats are in the House of Representatives. Those who point fingers and think “everything’s ok”, or label those who want our borders secure as “racists” are the same IDIOTS who have been DUPED by these shitheels on Capitol Hill…these RICH ASSHOLES…who have nothing left to do but SECURE WORLD DOMINATION, and guess what American Idol fans?! THEY’RE GOING TO DO IT AT YOUR EXPENSE. We’re LOSING our freedom EVERY, SINGLE, DAY, yet you are more worried about whether or not your fucking triple half caff, fruity whip, low cal grande latte is going to come with a fucking chocolate covered coffee bean this time.

When the shit hits the fan, and you lazy stupid FUCKS will be to blame. You’ll be the FIRST ones who are deemed “expendable” by those of us who were directly affected by your Political Correctness, those of us who tried desperately to save our great country, those of us who would happily see all these ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS shipped off on the FIRST BUS TO MEXICO, who are TIRED of having our history belittled because we’re of European descent, who are SICK TO DEATH of having our rights trodden upon by SPOILED, RICH BRATS who were BORN into being rich but couldn’t tie their own shoes without a batallion of slaves at their beckon call.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS KILLING OUR NATION, IT’S KILLING OUR LEGACY, AND IT’S KILLING OUR FUTURE!!! GROW A PAIR, STEP UP TO THE PLATE, AND DEFEND YOUR NATION WITH YOUR ACTIONS AND WORDS. QUIT PANDERING TO THIRD WORLD ASSHOLES WHO WILL TAKE $1 PER HOUR TO DO SHIT LABOR. QUIT PANDERING TO WHITE GUILT!! QUIT PRETENDING OUR NATION IS A NATION OF PASTY IDIOTS WHO WILL LET ANYONE WALK ON US. You assholes might just as well roll over and put a PLEASE FUCK ME sign on your pathetic asses.

Most of you idiots enamoured with American Idol are as far from being TRUE AMERICANS as one can get. STAND UP FOR OUR NATION AND OUR PEOPLE NOW!!! Quit wasting time on Mainstream Media, crack a fucking book, open your eyes, and START TAKING AN ACTIVE ROLE IN EDUCATING YOURSELVES so you KNOW what’s coming, so you KNOW what issues are facing us NOW and in the future, and start acting at the grassroots level. Find like-minded people, and start educating yourselves, PLAN for the future, and PLAN to defend your RIGHTS as a UNITED STATES CITIZEN.

THE RICH ARE TAKING OVER THE UNITED STATES. STAND UP! YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT TO A BLOODY DEATH TO KEEP THOSE RIGHTS. GET READY FOR IT PEOPLE.

As with the incredible DVD “911 In Plane Site”, I have been purchasing other DVDs which shed light on those topics which don’t make it to the massaged, purified, Corporate Mass Media Outlets ™. I will be ripping them and putting them up for your viewing pleasure. I believe the authors of all these DVDs will have no issue with sharing the info with the rest of the world. As I complete the rips, I will make them available via links on the left side of my main page. Some of these DVDs include:

- 911 In Plane Site - Director’s Cut
- Loose Change - Extended Version
- Terrorstorm - Extended & Remixed
- Obsession - Radical Islam’s War Against the West

And many, many others. These DVDs contain information unavailable via mainstream media, and shed some light on the real happenings around the world as well as past events.

Was 9/11 a false flag event? Are we due for another false flag event here in the U.S.? The answers are out there, one must seek the truth to find out.

Sorry folks, life has just put up a LOAD of roadblocks over the past 12 months or so, and as a result, my blog has suffered greatly. For that, I apologize. I know many of you have asked where I’ve gone, and my answer, aside from “crazy”, is that I’ve gone nowhere.

I will be spending a bit more time keeping the blog updated. There are SO many things coming down in our world right now…nasty things, untoward things, things no one person should have to contemplate, but to ignore it, to pretend these things aren’t taking place, that the puzzle isn’t coming together, is to do a disservice to myself and to those I would keep informed.

Stay safe everyone. It’s imparative that you ALL begin looking worldwide for your news. The current media is clearly run by globalists and corporate entities, the same folks who currently run our government. You have to educate yourselves, you have to look for real data, and put the pieces together yourself.

More on this later. Stay safe!

K

Oh yeah!! I tend to give them plenty of flack for unstable power, but I just had an experience last night that changes my outlook on PGE and their customer service levels!

To keep it short, it’s been raining and storming heavily in Portland Oregon for the past few days here. On Monday I we had a power outage that affected 8500+ folks, for about 3 hours during the day. Ever since power was restored, it’s been very flaky with major dips and spikes, the lights dimming and pulsing, my plasma tv shutting down, etc. Figured it’s something PGE knew about and would fix.

Well, Tuesday is HarmFamily rehearsal night (one of ‘em anyhow), and the power was still very sketchy. I powered up my rack and the power conditioner indicated I was getting about 95v where it should be 110v. Everything sounded tinny and thin as my Marshall was starving for power. I told my wife to call PGE and that they need to get this resolved. This was about 7pm on Tuesday evening. We continued rehearsal and at about 8pm opened the garage door to take a short break. Up pulls a utility truck, out gets a PGE repair man and asks “what’s the problem?” I am in disbelief!!!! I invite him into the garage and explain the dips and surges, indicating that nothing is causing it (like turning on the microwave or som’n) and show him my line voltage reading on my power conditioner. He is very cool, asks where the power meter is and I show him. A few minutes later he points out that the turnbuckle that secures the cabling which stabilizes the main power line has snapped and the line is sagging about 15 ft lower than it usually would. He gets into the cherry picker and fixes the problem!!! 45 minutes later, my power is perfect!!

I thanked him many times and he asked “What sort of music do you guys play?” I told him HarmFamily is a metal band and we play the larger clubs in Portland. He says “Ah, I’m probably too old…” to which I said “you’re NEVER too old!!”. He immediately warmed up and told me about how he saw Hendrix, Joplin, Canned Heat, etc in his day. I told him I love that music as well and gave him one of our CDs! He seemed pretty excited.

Anyhow, hats off to PGE and their customer service, especially the guy that showed up last night. Very cool, incredible response time, and everything that customer service should be!!! Way to go PGE!!!

Well, here we are in 2006, another election year and another battery of measures to vote on, though I’m not going to rant about that, because here in Oregon, the most important issue right now is the overwhelming amount of IDIOTS who can’t drive IN THE RAIN!! Seriously, you’d think here in Portland it was raining WD-40 with shards of glass and roofing nails.

In a 30 minute span (which usually takes 10 minutes) driving to work, in one day, today, I’ve seen two wrecks, countless soccer moms and blue-hairs driving 20mph in the left lane, as if they were “helping” by slowing down to 20mph UNDER the speed limit. Leave a bit of extra room between you and the next vehicle doesn’t NOT equate logically to “imagine the Grand Canyon, now triple the widest point and make that your guideline for following others”. What happens is you leave enough room for the 19 year old with the Honda Whatever, complete with Folgers Exhaust System, to race into that space, causing Soccer Mom to hammer the brakes, chain reaction ensues, and now the whole fucking road is hammering their brakes.

There should be tests for all to be able to legally drive in the rain. If it’s THAT fucking hard and so stressful that common sense becomes a ball and chain, TAKE THE BUS YOU A-HOLE AND GET THAT POS OFF THE FUCKING ROAD BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE!!!

I really let my blog go stale. Sorry about that. Time to get back to writing as I have a LOT to write about.

.

Ok, so that’s not what OMSI stands for…it’s the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, a fantastic fun place to spend an afternoon with your kid. The exhibits are for the most part very cool, and there is a LOT of hands-on stuff to do. However, it seems everytime we go there to have a bit of fun and enjoy the exhibits, the place is filled with out-of-control kids and seemingly retarded parents who can’t regain control of their drooling brats. Of course, for “hands-on” exhibits, having an endless army of unruly ankle-biters touching and interfering with everyone’s enjoyment or ability to interact with the exhibits isn’t really conducive to a good time.

I get that your kids are retarded, some because of the gene pool and “bad luck”, but for fucks sake most of it is simply because of horrendous parenting!! What the fuck is wrong with some of you?! After my son and I had waited patiently for the line at one particular exhibit to wind down, it was our turn to check it out. No sooner did I get up to the exhibit when some nappyheaded asshole basically shoves his blob of carbon bearing his surname in FRONT of myself and my son, not even looking back to excuse his pathetic behavior. To top it off, he just let his kid fuck about with the buttons and pull levers, not reading what the exhibit was about, or trying to educate his kid. Just some fucking lump of flesh enabling another lump of flesh to do what they do best; consume air, take up space, and contribute to the damaged gene pool which will ultimately be the demise of the entire fucking human race.

Congratulations asshole, you taught that otherwise innocent child how to grow up to be an self-impotant asshole with no social conscience.

…comin’ again, to save the motherf*ckin’ day yeah…

TAWP finally made it to DVD, UNCENSORED AND UNRATED!! FUCK YEAH!! My most anticipated DVD release for quite some time, TAWP doesn’t let you down. If you don’t “get” South Park, or think it’s “just a bunch of shitty animation doing fart jokes and swearing”, then move along, there’s nothing here for you. Perhaps you’d do better checking out “Pearl Harbor” for your 7th time. However, if you DO get South Park, and you appreciate the onslaught of biting, on-the-money satire and over the top crudeness, then this movie is the one you’ve been waiting on since Bigger, Longer, and Uncut was released!!!

No spoilers here, but it’s pretty straightfoward, taking shots at everyone and everything in it’s path. The puppets are an AMAZING display of talent and coordination, and the in-camera effects are second to none! It’s basically a spoof of every Jerry Bruckheimer ever made…with puppets. Many of the scenes are spoofs of other famous film scenes a la Independence Day.

The title really says it all, but if you missed it, the movie is a non-stop blitz satire on how the American government seems to have this “world police” mentality, hence the team. It takes jabs at everyone and everything having to do with 9/11, terrorism, and global war. The puppets really take on a life of their own, and lend to the humor of the movie, much as the simple animation lends to the humor of SP. As always with any Trey and Matt venture, the songs throughout are as much a critical part of the satire as the script. They really compliment the points made throughout the movie with such hits as “I’m So Ronrey” by Kim Jong-Il, “Montage” (taken from the Asspen episode of SP), “Freedom Costs a Buck O’ Five”, and 6 or so others. Genius stuff that, for me, is almost funnier than the script itself. Stick through the credits at the end as there is a hilarious tune done by Kim Jong-Il with an acoustic guitar that didn’t appear in the movie, I’m calling it “You Awe Worfwess Awec Bawdwin”. The Kim Jong-Il voice in the movie is done by Trey (duh!), and is so Elmer Fudd-ish that you have to laugh outloud with each line delivered.

Anyhow, there isn’t a LOT additionally to say about the movie. It’s another fantastic Trey and Matt production with the trademark potshots at everyone within kicking distance; Bush, North Korea, Michael Moore, France, WMDs, ALL actors, Times Square, etc, etc, etc. It just doesn’t stop! Hilarious, wildly entertaining, and on-the-mark, this movie is a must see for any SP afficianado as well as anyone who appreciates great satire done in a non-conventional fashion. Did I mention the DVD extras are fantastic!?! More than 2 hours of great extras!!

Do yourself a favor and add this to your collection as soon as humanly possible. You’ll be glad you did!!

It’s Friday, and I’m doing my morning routine; wake up, shower, drive to Starbucks, drive to work. I’m midway though the routine, driving into Starbucks, it’s about 7am. There’s a minivan that’s come to a complete stop in the drive to the parking lot. I noticed the license plate: “GD-WITCH”. I was about to tap my horn so they’d move (there is no way around them as they’re in the middle of two vehicle widths) when the vehicle begins to move very slowly…then stops again. So, I tap my horn and they nudge to the right, where I proceed to drive around them and park in one of the many available spaces. As I’m walking in I notice that the Wicca3000 minivan is doing an Austin Powers to get into the closest space possible. The “Austin Powers” I’m talking about is the scene in AP1 where Austin is trying to turn that vehicle around in the hallway…forward, backward, forward, backward, forward, backward, ad infinitum

So, I’ve ordered my coffee from the fantastic folks (not even sarcastic. I love the crew at my Starbucks!) behind the counter and they’re now preparing my drink. I walk over to the coffee bar where the gal is finishing up my drink and up walks what can only be described as a cross between that psychic from the movie Poltergeist (walk toward the light…) and a has-been gate greeter from a WiccaFest. She begins to tell me “You know that minivan that you blared your horn at, and then drove angrily around? That’s my daughter behind the wheel and now she’s paranoid.” I had all I could do to keep from laughing outloud, but I maintained my composure and simply looked away, much like I do when any fucking psycho approaches me…street folks, drunks, etc, and begin talking to the chick making my coffee drink. She continues on…”Now she’s paranoid…you should really relax..”. At this point I interrupted her and said ” Look grandma, don’t lecture me. I AM relaxed, and whether you know it or not, my schedule doesn’t revolve around your daughters inability to park that piece of crap in the closest possible parking space. I’ve got a job to do, and being impeded by someone who can’t drive isn’t part of my routine”. She continues: “You really need to rel…” I interrupted loudly “Well then, perhaps teaching your daughter how to drive in a Starbucks parking lot during morning rush hour wasn’t such a great idea after all, was it?!”. She looked mortified, and continued to rant “oh, I think it’s a good idea…and my daughter already has her license…”. By this time I’d taken my coffee drink and thanked the gal makin’ my coffee, ignoring the psychowitch. As I was walking out, ignoring the now ranting psycho, the coffee chick exclaimed loudly “I think you’re a great driver Kevin!” as I said “Maybe your daughter’s paranoia stems from the embarrassment of having her neurotic WitchMom attempt to excuse her awful driving to complete strangers…or it’s the license plate!”.

As the door closed behind me I could hear staff and patrons alike break out with laughter. Funny shit. I wonder if her daughter asked her “Why’d that guy grin and flash me the devil horns on the way back to his car?”

Go cast a spell old lady, I’ve got a job to get to.

Two words: WHO CARES

This is NOT NEWS!! That you even RECOGNIZE this imbecile is proof enough that the US media is a goddamned joke.

Enough said. I can’t even expound on how ridiculous the fact is that this bimbo made national news…FOR DAYS AND DAYS!!!

As if the “have’s and the have-more’s” don’t already have enough to pat themselves on the back for, along comes the unbelieveably staged and incredibly shallow attempt at making Laura Bush appear to have a personality.

At the White House Correspondents Dinner over the weekend, Laura Bush appears to interrupt another Dubya lameduck “joke”, and then go on to do this pathetic “roast”. Apparently someone felt that Laura needed to get some “spotlight”, as the thing was SO clearly scripted (Reagan was an actor, Dubya is a buffoon) Dubya was almost waiting for the cue when Laura was going to jump in with her “ad-lib” spontaneous roast, making tired remarks about how early Dubya goes to bed, how he can’t pronounce “nuclear”, etc.

The ridiculous thing is that it even made the news!! Trying to make some overly-privleged rich bitch like Laura Bush appear to be human was a poor attempt at the real underlying goal, which was to make Dubya appear to be human.

What a joke. The entire world hates us, and this is the best they can do…some scripted attempt at humor. It was revealing to see that the entire room full of White House correspondents were somehow able to defy the laws of physics and, in unison, managed to all stand up, applaud, and fit their collective noses deeply into the ass of Dubya without leaving their places…

…well, like this chick! Let me begin by saying that I have NOTHING against asian chicks, or asian people, or the asian culture. In fact, I find asian chicks most attractive and I really dig asian culture. So, say what you will about me, I’m just an observer.

That said, I have found myself in two very harrowing near-miss automobile incidents in the span of two weeks which:

- were not my fault
- happened for no good reason
- were both fully the fault of young, cell-phone yacking, SUV-driving asian chicks who seem to be completely oblivious to what’s going around them!

Is this coincidence? I think not. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing, perhaps it was just my “luck”, as it were. There are plenty of other lousy drivers out there who aren’t asian chicks, and I’m sure there are at least some asian chicks who drive with surgical precision and common sense oozing from every nook and cranny of their vehicle. These two occasions, however, were the fault of the afore mentioned asian chicks.

Since the above incidents took place, I’ve begun to notice the driver of vehicles that are doing the following:

- Travelling on a 4 lane road in the left lane at the same or slower speed than traffic in the right lane, even though the traffic ahead of them has long since moved beyond the visible horizon. SPEED UP OR GET IN THE RIGHT LANE DAMNIT!!
- Attempting to merge onto a highway at the speed of smell, confusing the vehicles already on the highway, as well as making drivers of the infinite line of vehicles they’re holding up frustrated beyond any measurable level. MERGE ALREADY! DEPRESS THE ACCELERATOR AND MEET THE SPEED OF THE TRAFFIC YOU’RE ABOUT TO MERGE WITH!
- Adjusting speeds randomly so nobody behind them can make an educated determination as to what the next move will be, so I can get the fuck out of their way before they kill someone with their 3 ton gasguzzler. IF YOU’RE GOING 10MPH BELOW THE POSTED SPEED LIMIT, AND YOU NOTICE SOMEONE TRYING TO GET AROUND YOU, DON’T SPEED UP TO PREVENT IT YOU GODDAMNED GOOBER, PULL THAT PIECE OF SHIT OVER AND LET ME PASS!

I’m sure much of this is the fault of the Oregon DMV and their apparent lack of attention to teaching “respect on the road”. As a matter of fact, I’m quite certain that, if more attention were paid to teaching folks respect with regard to driving, road rage incidents would fall dramatically.

For all those that have them it goes without saying that allergy season is upon us. I never used to have allergies before I moved from the midwest to the west coast. Well, that’s not to say I wasn’t allergic to anything, I just never suffered the misery that is allergy season. Since I’ve moved out here, I have become allergic to cats, and to what must be a month or more of whatever blooms during the month of April (um…everything? Who knows…). I look like a goddamned cartoon. My eyes are literally swollen shut, I look as if I’ve just been maced, and my throat itches like I’ve just eaten a large mixing bowl full of Super Poison Ivy Crisp. Sleep?! That’s a thing of the past, and something I get to look forward to in the coming months, but for now, it’s hell.

Allegra? Claritin? Bah. They’re worthless and don’t do a damn thing. Benedryl? Great, if you’re into 12 hours of drowsy almost-sleep. There isn’t a damn thing on the market that does anything for me to relieve the allergic reactions. Enough ranting. I’m so in need of sleep right now that even my ranting is becoming red, itchy, and matted with seepage…

I decided that, after some seriously depressing family issues over the weekend that what we all needed was a good dose of dinner and a movie. We’d decided to go to our favorite mongolian grill (I didn’t say it was a SPECIAL dinner…christ, it’s not Ruth’s Chris…) and then take in a movie.

We got to the theater and all was well. There are so many good movies out (well, high draw movies anyhow) that the Amityville Horror was relatively empty. Bonus!! Anyhow, it’s the movie we wanted to see, and I’d read the book and seen the first movie, both ages ago, and thought with the new capabilities in the motion picture industry that this would be a great remake! I recall reading the book and being pretty freaked out (ok, I was in 8th grade, but whatever… ).

Once inside the empty theater, about 10 mins before the movie begins, folks start filing in and taking some seats. The first gaggle of giggling idiot bimbos and one super-fem dude decided to sit right behind us…RIGHT behind us. I guess they were on a mission to impress their flaming friend, because not only did they NOT stop yacking (I SWEAR I’ve never heard conversation go on that long…TAKE A F’ING BREATH YOU CACKLING HENS AND GIVE US A REST ALREADY!!), but they’d “outdo” each other with their absolutely HIDEOUS laughter. I thought it’d never end. Then, two gals and a dude, must have been in the 17-21 crowd, show up and sit just to the right and rear of where we were. Similar situation, but you could hear these idiots coming before they even got in the door. I’m sure the mentality is that of the high school dufus who thinks it’s “cool” to talk loudly, and just figures everyone wants to hear what he has to say. The two simpletons with him did the same laughter thing, except this went about 20 minutes into the movie. He’d make some stupidass comment outloud so we all could hear, and the two sluts would seemingly compete to see who could laugh the loudest along with him. Absolutely atrocious. After my wife leaned over and said “can we move? I can’t even focus on the movie!”, I stood up, leaned over to them and said “excuse me, would you mind just shutting up entirely, or whisper into each others ears? Your discussion is entirely distracting.”. They looked shocked and amazed, but they did shut up. Very cool outcome.

The most disturbing part of the audience was the 20-something couple that brought their FIVE YEAR OLD SON TO THE SHOW. A 5 year old who asked questions throughout the movie. Now, his little voice wasn’t so distracting, but the thought of these inconsiderate assholes bringing a kid to a movie with incredibly disturbing images of shotgun deaths, graphic torture, demons, horriffic screams and sounds, etc, brought my blood to a boil. I couldn’t bring myself to go confront them because I was so angry that I would have blown the initial contact and just likely bitched outright. I only hope the kid isn’t scarred from the experience, and if so, I hope these idiots lose sleep and spend countless $$$ on counseling for their kid. How lame.

“What about the movie?!” you ask. Well, this is a well-known story, so I won’t repeat it here. I’ll outline my pros/cons though, for those who’ve seen/read previous renditions:

- This rendition left out even more than the first movie.
- This rendition took more liberties with the plot and changed it so much that you won’t recognize much of what’s going on from either the book or the first movie
- The graphics were fantastic
- The acting was mediocre
- The chick who played the mom was incredibly hot!
- The movie was barely 90 minutes. This isn’t a bad thing necessarily, but they certainly had 1/2 an hour to play with and make the content at least similar to the book.

Anyhow, great horror story, some moments, but nothing that’d take your breath away. Go enjoy the show!!

We’ve all seen them. Some gimp decides to grab a copy of notepad and start “crafting” up a personal webpage, intent on publishing his/her ignorance worldwide. Some of these folks do it to present personal facts, some do it to create a soapbox upon which to preach to the world, some do it just to try to learn HTML, and some just do it because they want to look “cool”. There are so many examples of these vomitous digital tomes of nonsense that it’s hard to pick one as a prime example of what a website should NOT look like, but I’ve got one here that truly takes a prize for The Worst Website in Cyberspace.

In order to take an award for The Worst Website in Cyberspace, it must meet some rather stringent criteria. It must:

- contain little to no entertainment value.
- contain a large amount of grammatical errors, including spelling and misused forms of words (to, two, too come to mind)
- contain a ridiculous amount of pointless text sizing and colors which would offend Helen Keller
- contain little to no actual scripting, but simply a “body” tag with endless variations of fonts and colors
- contain emphasis on conjunctions like “but, or, and”, etc
- contain excessive use of 8 color sprite graphics and 2 pane animated gifs harvested from other hideous sites
- contain self-serving content which interests nobody but the “author” of said travesty

Extra points are given for gratuitous asskissing, making “pointless points”, and lack of cohesive information flow.

Well folks, I indeed have what I consider to be not only the prime candidate which meets the above with flying colors, but a clear winner that none of you can top. Visit (link removed to protect the guilty ), but be forewarned, this is one gawd-awful site capable of further blinding the blind, and WILL make you retarded for reading it. I believe you’ll find that this site is indeed The Worst Website in Cyberspace.

I’m not one for hype, and I’m sure not one for expecting that turning graphic novels by Frank Miller into a movie would work. So, I took the plunge and went to see Sin City last night, my expectations a mixed bag of “this could suck outloud” coupled with a slight anxiety and hope that it would be fine tribute to Frank Miller’s “Sin City” novels.

I went to the 7:15 pm show on a Sunday. At 6:45 pm I purchased my tickets, and asked the attendant how full the show was so far. He said this showing had 95% of the seats STILL AVAILABLE. “Oh man…” I thought to myself, …”this is going to be a bomb”, but something still gnawed inside saying “give it time, this is gonna be great!”.

Well, I have got to say that this was the most unexpected, most cutting edge, most incredible film I’ve seen in years!! An incredible cast of stars and amazing direction brings Frank Miller’s “Sin City” to life right before your eyes. The cityscapes are breathtaking, the art is amazing, and the integration of the characters is brilliant.

The list of stars who appear in the film is amazing. Benecio Del Toro, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba (does she EVER stop getting hotter?!?), Rosario Dawson, Michael Madson, etc, etc, etc…the list goes on forever. The women in this film look so amazingly gorgeous, at times it’s like a Victoria’s Secret ad. The film is engrossing from the very start and keeps you glued to the screen through the entire film, not a moment going to waste. The makeup, costumes, animation, and direction come together in a way that I’ve not seen in a film…ever.

The film is essentially a handful of stories tied together a la Sin City style, where initially the only tie to each other seems to be the backdrop of Sin City, and the dark violence that envelops everything within. There are small clues throughout the movie that indicate that at some point these characters will cross paths, and cross they do. I don’t want to do a full review here, or offer any “spoilers” as it were, but the film is roughly about cops vs. bad guys and how the lines of what’s right and wrong are seriously gray and blurred. Much criminal activity, lots of prostitution-based plot lines, again, very true to the Miller books. There are social overtones as well as personal vendettas, all coming together to create a very dark, very fanciful, and very engrossing film in which the intertwining plot is riviting, yet not so complex that you require a second viewing to define what just happened. The character development is flawless and the plot lines are tied together in such a way that the last moments of the movie really drive it home. There isn’t a dull spot or uninteresting point in the entire film.

Needless to say, this is THE MUST SEE FILM OF 2005!! Absolutely incredible…I’m still blown away. This is cutting edge stuff folks, and you MUST SEE IT on the big screen! I know I’ve got a date with the cinema for a few weekends to come.

…you hold up three lanes of 40MPH traffic only to cut across all of them to get to a fucking liquor store.

Yesterday I was on my way to the CoLo to bounce my border router when, for no apparent reason, traffic suddenly came to nearly a halt. It’s about 4:30pm on a Sunday, and there’s no reason for traffic to back up. I can see ahead that it’s moving, but slowly, and lots of brake lights. “No consequence to me” I think as I get into the far right lane, which is the onramp for I-5 south. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this fucking red piece of shit pretending to be a road-worthy vehicle shoots across two lanes of traffic, ACROSS THE ONRAMP ENTRANCE, in an attempt to get into the LIQUOR STORE PARKING LOT! If that weren’t bad enough, this asshole HAMMERS HIS/HER BRAKES as they hit the very slightly sloped entrance, as if they were going to fall apart upon hitting it! I’m talking about a VERY slight slope…you could have hit that thing at 40MPH and not flinched, but no. This dumbass comes to a complete fucking stop, sideways across traffic, I suspect in order to not spill their last PBR on the “bump”.

So, as this addict limping his/her POS truck up the 3% grade into the liquor store parking lot, I noticed the license plate is from WISCONSIN!! Wisconsin: The Land Time Forgot. Blech. For all those that thought there were lots of stupid folks ANYWHERE ELSE, you’ve never been to Wisconsin. This is a place where they hassle, arrest, violate rights, and persecute anyone who doesn’t hold dear the far right conservative values of the good ol’ boys network that makes up the “government” there. Cops, lawyers, judges…they’re all in on it.

However, I digresss…it’s no wonder this asshole needed to get to the liquor store quickly, likely to forget that much faster what a shithole state they came from.