The Bleeding Edge of Reality

…comin’ again, to save the motherf*ckin’ day yeah…

TAWP finally made it to DVD, UNCENSORED AND UNRATED!! FUCK YEAH!! My most anticipated DVD release for quite some time, TAWP doesn’t let you down. If you don’t “get” South Park, or think it’s “just a bunch of shitty animation doing fart jokes and swearing”, then move along, there’s nothing here for you. Perhaps you’d do better checking out “Pearl Harbor” for your 7th time. However, if you DO get South Park, and you appreciate the onslaught of biting, on-the-money satire and over the top crudeness, then this movie is the one you’ve been waiting on since Bigger, Longer, and Uncut was released!!!

No spoilers here, but it’s pretty straightfoward, taking shots at everyone and everything in it’s path. The puppets are an AMAZING display of talent and coordination, and the in-camera effects are second to none! It’s basically a spoof of every Jerry Bruckheimer ever made…with puppets. Many of the scenes are spoofs of other famous film scenes a la Independence Day.

The title really says it all, but if you missed it, the movie is a non-stop blitz satire on how the American government seems to have this “world police” mentality, hence the team. It takes jabs at everyone and everything having to do with 9/11, terrorism, and global war. The puppets really take on a life of their own, and lend to the humor of the movie, much as the simple animation lends to the humor of SP. As always with any Trey and Matt venture, the songs throughout are as much a critical part of the satire as the script. They really compliment the points made throughout the movie with such hits as “I’m So Ronrey” by Kim Jong-Il, “Montage” (taken from the Asspen episode of SP), “Freedom Costs a Buck O’ Five”, and 6 or so others. Genius stuff that, for me, is almost funnier than the script itself. Stick through the credits at the end as there is a hilarious tune done by Kim Jong-Il with an acoustic guitar that didn’t appear in the movie, I’m calling it “You Awe Worfwess Awec Bawdwin”. The Kim Jong-Il voice in the movie is done by Trey (duh!), and is so Elmer Fudd-ish that you have to laugh outloud with each line delivered.

Anyhow, there isn’t a LOT additionally to say about the movie. It’s another fantastic Trey and Matt production with the trademark potshots at everyone within kicking distance; Bush, North Korea, Michael Moore, France, WMDs, ALL actors, Times Square, etc, etc, etc. It just doesn’t stop! Hilarious, wildly entertaining, and on-the-mark, this movie is a must see for any SP afficianado as well as anyone who appreciates great satire done in a non-conventional fashion. Did I mention the DVD extras are fantastic!?! More than 2 hours of great extras!!

Do yourself a favor and add this to your collection as soon as humanly possible. You’ll be glad you did!!

It’s Friday, and I’m doing my morning routine; wake up, shower, drive to Starbucks, drive to work. I’m midway though the routine, driving into Starbucks, it’s about 7am. There’s a minivan that’s come to a complete stop in the drive to the parking lot. I noticed the license plate: “GD-WITCH”. I was about to tap my horn so they’d move (there is no way around them as they’re in the middle of two vehicle widths) when the vehicle begins to move very slowly…then stops again. So, I tap my horn and they nudge to the right, where I proceed to drive around them and park in one of the many available spaces. As I’m walking in I notice that the Wicca3000 minivan is doing an Austin Powers to get into the closest space possible. The “Austin Powers” I’m talking about is the scene in AP1 where Austin is trying to turn that vehicle around in the hallway…forward, backward, forward, backward, forward, backward, ad infinitum

So, I’ve ordered my coffee from the fantastic folks (not even sarcastic. I love the crew at my Starbucks!) behind the counter and they’re now preparing my drink. I walk over to the coffee bar where the gal is finishing up my drink and up walks what can only be described as a cross between that psychic from the movie Poltergeist (walk toward the light…) and a has-been gate greeter from a WiccaFest. She begins to tell me “You know that minivan that you blared your horn at, and then drove angrily around? That’s my daughter behind the wheel and now she’s paranoid.” I had all I could do to keep from laughing outloud, but I maintained my composure and simply looked away, much like I do when any fucking psycho approaches me…street folks, drunks, etc, and begin talking to the chick making my coffee drink. She continues on…”Now she’s paranoid…you should really relax..”. At this point I interrupted her and said ” Look grandma, don’t lecture me. I AM relaxed, and whether you know it or not, my schedule doesn’t revolve around your daughters inability to park that piece of crap in the closest possible parking space. I’ve got a job to do, and being impeded by someone who can’t drive isn’t part of my routine”. She continues: “You really need to rel…” I interrupted loudly “Well then, perhaps teaching your daughter how to drive in a Starbucks parking lot during morning rush hour wasn’t such a great idea after all, was it?!”. She looked mortified, and continued to rant “oh, I think it’s a good idea…and my daughter already has her license…”. By this time I’d taken my coffee drink and thanked the gal makin’ my coffee, ignoring the psychowitch. As I was walking out, ignoring the now ranting psycho, the coffee chick exclaimed loudly “I think you’re a great driver Kevin!” as I said “Maybe your daughter’s paranoia stems from the embarrassment of having her neurotic WitchMom attempt to excuse her awful driving to complete strangers…or it’s the license plate!”.

As the door closed behind me I could hear staff and patrons alike break out with laughter. Funny shit. I wonder if her daughter asked her “Why’d that guy grin and flash me the devil horns on the way back to his car?”

Go cast a spell old lady, I’ve got a job to get to.

Two words: WHO CARES

This is NOT NEWS!! That you even RECOGNIZE this imbecile is proof enough that the US media is a goddamned joke.

Enough said. I can’t even expound on how ridiculous the fact is that this bimbo made national news…FOR DAYS AND DAYS!!!

As if the “have’s and the have-more’s” don’t already have enough to pat themselves on the back for, along comes the unbelieveably staged and incredibly shallow attempt at making Laura Bush appear to have a personality.

At the White House Correspondents Dinner over the weekend, Laura Bush appears to interrupt another Dubya lameduck “joke”, and then go on to do this pathetic “roast”. Apparently someone felt that Laura needed to get some “spotlight”, as the thing was SO clearly scripted (Reagan was an actor, Dubya is a buffoon) Dubya was almost waiting for the cue when Laura was going to jump in with her “ad-lib” spontaneous roast, making tired remarks about how early Dubya goes to bed, how he can’t pronounce “nuclear”, etc.

The ridiculous thing is that it even made the news!! Trying to make some overly-privleged rich bitch like Laura Bush appear to be human was a poor attempt at the real underlying goal, which was to make Dubya appear to be human.

What a joke. The entire world hates us, and this is the best they can do…some scripted attempt at humor. It was revealing to see that the entire room full of White House correspondents were somehow able to defy the laws of physics and, in unison, managed to all stand up, applaud, and fit their collective noses deeply into the ass of Dubya without leaving their places…